“You lookin’ for that hotel with the marina and all the yachts? What you’ll wanna do is hang a left at that 200-foot slot machine over there, go past the Golden Gate Bridge, go past the other Golden Gate Bridge — don’t even get me started on those two — then it’s just the other side of the 400-foot tall cowboy boots. If you get to the Titanic-shaped hotel, you’ve gone too far.”

Somewhere out there in the multiverse, there’s a Strip where these resorts, some of the wilder ideas ever proposed for Las Vegas, weren’t derailed by the aftermath of the Sept. 11 attacks, the Great Recession or just plain ol’ common sense.

Our skyline already is ridiculous, in the absolute best possible way, with its pyramid, Eiffel Tower and Statue of Liberty. But it could’ve been downright wacky had these resorts, all of which were announced with varying degrees of fanfare, actually been built.