‘The Producers’ and the Kentucky Derby

As the winter doldrums wear on in the East and the Midwest, the hope for an early spring and an end to the cold and wind can, understandably, be found in many places. For me, that hope of coming warmth and brighter days was always fostered by the wonderful and funny movie by Mel Brooks called The Producers. You may know the story: two get rich quick artists decide to scam little old ladies by selling over 100% of the rights to the potential profits for a horrible, sure-fire flop of a play called Springtime for Hitler. With seemingly zero hope of success, the producers can then label it a “loss,” and with no profits, can keep all the money they raised for themselves and no one will ever discover their fraud. These characters have been played by such stars as Zero Mostel, Gene Wilder, Nathan Lane, and Matthew Broderick; even Uma Thurman had a role in the 2005 film, as Ulla, the Swedish actress who eventually runs off to Rio with the ‘producers.’

What does all this have to do with the Kentucky Derby? Well, nothing, really. Although it does, in a way, reflect the hopes and dreams of those who will attempt to win America’s most beloved horse race, the Kentucky Derby, this spring. Even though the odds of that happening are very, very slim, and the costs are prohibitive, people still dream of the possibility.

In 2015, there were over 20,000 thoroughbred foals born. Since the Run for the Roses is open only to three-year-old horses, one’s horse must not only survive the rigors of growing up, with all of its pitfalls and headaches, but also turn out to be good enough to compete at racing’s highest level. Add to that the fact that a horse must be ready to run its finest race on that day, the first Saturday in May, merely three years after being born. Quite a task, even for horses who sell for millions of dollars or are sired by the most expensive stallions in the world. After all, there have been far more horses with impeccable breeding and bloodlines (and the attendant sky-high purchase prices) that haven’t won the Derby than those that have.

So, you might ask, why do it? Why even try to thread the needle? The costs are astronomical even before one includes the potential for calamity, and a Derby horse that doesn’t win the Derby is… well, it’s a Derby horse that didn’t win the Derby. It’ll still command high stud fees, most likely, but the chance to win the Derby only comes along once in a horse’s lifetime. So why do people do it? For the same reason people buy lottery tickets, invest in new stocks, collect stamps and coins, or buy baseball rookie cards. The hope of future success, and, maybe, fame and fortune, is quite a lure. Most people who love this game of horse racing and are in it for the sheer pleasure of owning and racing are obviously not subject to scam artists like in The Producers, but they also know that winning the Derby is not very realistic.

To those who are fortunate enough to overcome the odds and accomplish this marvelous feat, the dream of a lifetime has certainly come true. There is a wonderful 2014 movie called 50-1, the story of longshot Mine That Bird, who won the 2009 Derby at betting odds of 50-1 and had strong showings in the Preakness and the Belmont later that year. The real odds of that foal even getting to the race, much less doing what he did, were certainly almost incalculable. So, if the snow and cold has got you longing for spring, you might want to put these movies in your queue or on your agenda. And, while you’re at it, you might want to consider adding ‘going to the Kentucky Derby’ to your bucket list, too, because looking ahead to the first Saturday in May, even as a fan, will knock the rust right off your soul, and bring a little spring to your step. I know it does for me.