How to Win Millions Playing Slot Machines … or Lose Trying
by Frank Legato
168 Pages – Bonus Books, 2004, $14.95
By now, it should be no secret that I like books, especially ones about casinos and gaming. Your first clue is that for the last five years, every month I have reviewed a book on gambling, operations, management, casino crime or a gambler biography. For the most part, I’m a fan boy and almost always endorse these titles and their authors.
What you may not know is that there are some gambling books that I literally hate. They are the ones that claim that you can beat the casino by buying their book. The majority of these titles are complete garbage. Let me amend that to say that “most” of them are.
The exceptions are those aimed at BJ and Craps players (include all the carnival card games in this category too). They are good. The other exceptions are the ones teaching video poker strategies. Most of these are valid and will increase your odds of winning. Unfortunately, you have to carefully read them, practice, study them, practice, read them again, and practice even more. For me, and many others, the books are great, but it is just too much work.
But in the category of pure trash are any titles which offer a sure-fire roulette system and, especially, any book that says, “How To Win Money Playing Slot Machines”.
Sadly, there are dozens and dozens of such books for sale on every website and in bookstores from coast-to- coast. Do not buy them or encourage anyone to read them (except for all the players in your slot club – they may actually believe this trash and gamble more).
Which brings me to the 20th anniversary of a truly great book by Frank Legato. Ironically, it is titled “How To Win Millions Playing Slot Machines”. But this classic book is different, and you should seek out a copy for several reasons.
First, Legato adds the critically important subtitle of “…or Lose Trying”. That’s your tip off that this book is based on a bit of realism, not fantasy. Secondly, this book is hilarious (in addition to being an amateur guitar player, Frank is also an amateur stand-up comedian). Thirdly, Frank is a friend, and I’m hoping he’ll buy me a beer at G2E next month.
Legato wrote this book in 2003 after 20 years as a “slot expert” writing for various gaming publications including “Strictly Slots,” “Casino Journal,” “Casino Gaming,” and “Global Gaming Business”. He is also one of the rare writers to be awarded the Peter Mead Memorial Award given for excellence in journalism by the Association of Gaming Equipment Manufacturers (AGEM).
Frank was also my close colleague when CDC Gaming started the monthly “Frank Floor Talk” feature. The title came from his first and my last name. It’s an old Germanic root name meaning ‘free, open-hearted, generous’ (that’s why I’m hoping for the beer). It is rumored that the name may also mean, “big mustache” (mine looked bigger before it turned gray).
Despite its age, the first 11 chapters of Legato’s book are as relevant today as ever (except maybe the myth in Chapter 6 about heating or chilling your coins before playing them). Frank agreed last week, “The book is totally outdated – it was written in 2003, and slots today bear little resemblance to what they were then. Full-pay video poker was still abundant, and the Borgata had not even opened yet. But it’s still a valid history of slots from 1895 to 2003.”
Another thing that’s timeless and still holds up is Legato’s sense of humor. This book is funny from Chapter One to the last page.
The title’s age does show when Frank hits the road. Many of the casinos he describes have been imploded, sold, abandoned, renamed, remodeled or under new management for the third or fourth time. But again, there’s still a lot of humor you’ll love.
Here’s his take on Sin City: “The term Las Vegas means ‘The Meadows,’ an obvious reference to the lush, green landscape of the area, which evidently did exist as some point back in the Paleolithic period. Unfortunately, ever since humans moved beyond using crude tools to draw cave pictures and courting the opposite sex through a conk on the head with a stone club, the physical landscape of Las Vegas has been more like that of, say, Mercury.”
He goes on to say, “For some real summertime Las Vegas fun, spend a few hours lounging in an air-conditioned room, and then quickly walk outside at about three in the afternoon. For someone from Pittsburgh, this experience induces a blast of nostalgia for the days when steelworkers had to routinely stick their faces into thousand-degree coke ovens. Super-heated air will slam into your body like a sledgehammer, and your stunned vocal chords will manage to squeeze out only a shaky, breathless two-word phrase: ‘Holy Shit’.”
Lest you think I am recommending this book just so Frank will cough up a kickback, he says, “Bonus Books didn’t promote it, and quit paying me royalties, and eventually ignored all my attempts to contact them. It didn’t sell that well anyway, so it was a couple of thousand they may have owed me, and I would have paid more for a lawyer than what I was owed. It’s been on Amazon forever, but I haven’t seen a penny since the first couple of checks.”
He’s right. My most recent dog-eared copy was smuggled out of the Indianapolis Marion County Public Library (stamped “Withdrawn”), but you can still find new ones listed on Amazon for their original $14.95 price.
If you need to get a chuckle, this is a book you should buy. Importantly, if Frank is ever assigned to write a story about your casino or your gaming products, you can prop up a copy of this on the bookshelf behind you during the interview. Flattery works with him.
Finally, this book is so historic, it gets a rare citation on Wikipedia: “This book is a humorous look at slot machines, but it does not mean that the author tries to speak about this game and its players as being unintelligent or unthinking. Frank Legato describes the world of slot machines (history, concept, how to play) in a funny and interesting manner.”
I totally agree.
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Note: We asked if there was a new and updated book coming anytime soon and he replied, “Maybe after I retire in a few years.” Why wait, Frank?
